Amazing stuff.

I never post on this blog unless something strikes me as amazing. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is amazing. These are the answers to the thousand year old joke, why did the chicken cross the road? These brave souls have attempted to answer the joke. Read on.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL : " The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems
before adding 'NEW' problems ".


OPRAH: " Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest o f the chickens. "


GEORGE W. BUSH: " We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no mid dle ground here. "

COLIN POWELL: " Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..." .

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. <
/SPAN>"

JOHN KERRY: " Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. "

NANCY GRACE: " That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks."

PAT BUCHANAN: " To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."

MARTHA STEWART: " No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. "

DR SEUSS: " Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. "

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: "To die in the rain. Alone."

JERRY FALWELL: " Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. "

GRANDPA: " In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.. "<
/DIV>

BARBARA WALTERS: " Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road. "

JOHN LENNON: " Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace."

ARISTOTLE: "It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."

BILL GATES: " I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is
much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ..... reboot. "

ALBERT EINSTEIN: " Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken . "

BILL CLINTON: " I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is
your definition of chicken & nbsp;. "

AL GORE: "I invented the chicken! "

COLONEL SANDERS: " Did I miss one?"

DICK CHENEY: " Where's my gun?"

AL SHARPTON: " Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens."

Hillary Clinton: " I have vast experience with chickens and if elected, I
will ensure that EVERY chicken has the ability to cross any road they desire. "



Perhaps next time we'll talk with Chick-Fil-A about their opinion about CEO Mr. Chicken crossing the road. (Maybe he is gay.)